


Fracture

by Maskofsecrets



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 07:19:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3842011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maskofsecrets/pseuds/Maskofsecrets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick meets Sean again after so many years of separation. But the pain of that separation has torn them apart</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fracture

**Author's Note:**

> I am very sorry for this everyone! It is Depressing as hell! It's based on a dream I had of these two. I'm actually very surprised that I remember it clearly....It's heavy and sad with no happy ending....I cried while I was writing this but I knew I had to get it out! Sorry for any errors I checked it over again so I apologize for that...enjoy and i am sorry again....
> 
> Also I had I think i'm in love again by Kat Dahlia playing in the dream as well though the song fits and doesn't fit....oh well

 

 

**An Instance in Time**

 

All I wanted was his love. He was my everything, maybe in some ways he still is. But he left me, when I needed him the most he left and disappeared for years. My heart broke into pieces and life was too hard to move on.  Many nights I spent crying over him. I couldn't take the pain anymore and tried to end my life. Luckily for me I was saved by my best friend. Juliette thank you so much for saving my life. Without you I would have been gone from this world. I would have never reached my full potential if it wasn't for you. I was weak back then after he left and you gave me the strength I needed to move on. Thank you so much! Which brings me to my current situation.

"Nick please just hear me out!"

"Why Sean? Give me one good reason why I should give you a second chance."

Please Nicky-"

"Don't call me that! You have no right to use that name anymore! You left me when I needed you the most Sean! I was caste out of my family for being gay and being in love with you!  A royal bastard! I had nowhere to go! Nowhere! I was out living on the streets hungry and a beggar for a year! Do you have any idea what you've done to me? All that pain, all that suffering. You don't get it."

"I do understand Nick. I was in the same situation as you. But at least you didn't have people hunting you down for all your life! I thought life was meaningless. Like this is all I had. Then I met you and my world changed. All of that pain and suffering melted away and I had someone I could call my own. I-"

"Don't fuck with me Sean! I was your everything! I was your whole world huh? Fuck you Sean! Fuck you! I don't want to see your face ever again!"

"Nick please just-just hear me out! Don't walk away from me like I did to you! Please don't go." He grabbed my hand before I could leave and he pulled me into a tight hug. I struggled against him and pleaded with him to let me go.

"Let go Sean! Let me go!"

"No I won't! I can't lose you again!"

"Stop! Let me go!" I began to cry and I cursed myself for being so weak in front of him! Shit why now? Why now after all these years I had to run into him here in Oregon! This was suppose to a fresh start! A new life with a new guy in my life! And yet here I am with him! Shit this isn't fair!

"Shhhh Nick, shhh just relax." He began to rub my back gently soothing me. He use to do this a lot back then. Always knew how to make me feel safe and letting me know I'm loved. Loved…

"Alright Sean. Alright I'll hear you out at least." For the last time. Though I didn't dare say that out loud.

"Thank you" He kissed the top of my head. I thought he was going to let me go, but instead he held me tighter. "I left you all those years ago because I was being hunted down by my family back in Europe. By the Verrat. You remember right? I told you about them before?"

I simply nodded my head. I did remember.

"Good. That's why I left you. I had to protect you so they wouldn't kill you!  I couldn't let them take you away from me. You are my everything Nick. My whole world and the thought of losing you like that. I would never forgive myself if they caught you and you used as bait to get to me. I was so scared. What was I suppose to do? Tell me! What could I have done? What choice did I have?"

I was silent. I thought about everything he just said. It made sense, but why he couldn't tell me, why he couldn't just give me that as his reason for leaving? I would have understood! It was hell of a lot better answer than what I got back then.

"Why didn't you just tell me that back then? All you told me was that it was over between us.  You said you couldn’t see me anymore. You didn't want to be with me anymore! That I was nothing a nuisance in your life! My world fell apart! Sean do you have any idea what you've done to me? Do you understand that? DO YOU?!" I yelled out that part. Shit this isn't fair!

"I know what I said and those words haunt me every single day. I said those words so that you could move on. This way if I died, you could still move forward in life and be happy. I realize now that it was foolish the way I did that." I didn't utter a word, "You're right I should have just told you the truth. I owed you that. Will you give me another chance? Please? Please don't go away."

"I'm with someone new Sean." I told him quietly, "he's a great guy and makes my world full of sunshine and happiness. I can't get back together with you."

Sean was frozen with shock and he began shaking. He hugged Nick as tight as he could. Tears began to fall down his face and into Nicks hair. It was beginning to pour down hard outside Sean's apartment. For a moment the two fell silent and it seemed as if time had just stopped. The only movement was the rain.

"I want you back Nick. I need you back in my life! You have no idea how much I've missed you and regretted every single day what I did to you. I couldn't move on and now I have this city! I have power to keep you safe. I looked for you everywhere! I tried so hard. I pulled strings here and there to locate you and prayed every day and night that I would find you safe and bring you to me. Granted I knew you wouldn't  be so eager to see me but I thought if I could just explain to you why I did what I did you would forgive me in time and we could start over again."  His hold on me began to get painful. He was still shaking and I could still feel his tears fall down my forehead and catch in my eyes mixing with my own tears.

"I don't think we can start over Sean," I said after a long moment of silence, "I have someone else in my life." Even as I said this he pulled back slightly and lifted my face up to look at him. He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine.

"Give me one chance to prove that I'm worthy of your love again. Please."

I looked back down at his chest and saw the giant wet spot over his heart that our tears created and thought back to what my lover said to me….

FLASHBACK

"Hey Nick, how are you?" I was silent as I walked in through the door of our new apartment."Nick baby what's wrong?" How do I tell him?

"I-I ran into Sean here love." To say he was shocked was an understatement. He looked like a fish trying to get air but failing miserably at it. " We just happened to run into each other in downtown. He was working a case because he's the captain of the Portland Police. Huh go figure right?" I smiled sadly at him.

" Did he say anything? Did he do anything to you?"

"No he was just as shocked as I was. We stared at each for what felt like forever and then he hugged me tightly.  I didn't return his hug."

"Awh babe I am so sorry." He came over and kissed me on my forehead and hugged me tightly. " You this could be fate Nick."

"Wha-what do you mean fate? You aren't trying to break up with me are you?"

"No-no love I'm not! What I mean is that this could be a way for you to get closure with him." I was silent he continued, "do you remember that time I met my old lover who really did a number on me when we broke up and when he saw me he explained to me why he did what he did?"

I nodded and at that time I thought we were going to break up. But I was proved wrong.

"Well you told me to get closure and if I ended up sleeping with him it would be ok because you can understand that. All I could think of was omg what an idiot you are" He laughed loudly and so did I. "Well we talked it out and yeah we ended up sleeping with each other. After that I left him and came back to you and told you what happened. You have such a big heart Nick. I felt like I had betrayed you and that it was the end of us. But again you surprised me and said I deserve happiness."

"Yeah I remember that day well."

"Well, I told you that my happiness is with you. I may have slept with him but that was the end. I finally had the closure I wanted and all I could think of was how I have an amazing guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I am so lucky to have you as my lover Nick. I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe you need to do the same thing. Get that closure and see if you can finally say goodbye and leave happy."

"That's fucked up love." He burst out laughing.

"Yeah haha, yeah it is! But we are fucked up anyways right?" I had to agree with him there. "If you do leave me for him I'll be heartbroken but like you I would understand as well. So go Nick and get that closure you need. You deserve that much at least. No matter what happens I love you with every fiber of my being. So go. Go and come back."

END FLASHBACK

"Nick?" I was brought out of my thoughts and looked up into Sean's eyes again. My lover was right. I need this. To either finally say goodbye or stay with Sean. My heart squeezed so hard. I closed my eyes and leaned up to kiss Sean.  It's fucked up to do this to Sean. I know it's not fair. I know I could hurt him badly, be nothing but an asshole. But again my lovers words came back.

"You deserve it. Go Nick and come back."

I kissed Sean hard and I wanted to feel his warmth again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kissed passionately. Soon clothes began to come off one by one and we just felt each other up. My hand trailed down his firm muscular chest and I moved them to his strong back as his hands trailed down my back and squeezed my ass. My breathe hitched and I had to break away from the kiss. I began panting and I could feel the heat of his gaze on me. We soon moved  to the bed naked and he laid me down gently. He was so kind with me and gentle. As if I could break any moment. He captured my lips again  and began preparing me down there. He entered me and I gasped out loud grabbing him and moaned his name.

"Sean ah! Sean" I said his name countless time as he picked up the pace and he moaned my name loudly.

"Nick! Nick you feel so good!"

I looked up into his eyes and smiled. He smiled back and kissed me fiercely. So passionate was this moment in time. We made love many times. Soon exhaustion set in and we fell asleep together wrapped up in each other's arms. For the last time.

\---------

The morning sun shone through the curtains and landed on my face. I began waking up slowly remembering everything from last night. I was wrapped up in Sean's arms and turned to look at his face. He looked so beautiful and at peace. My heart squeezed again tightly knowing this would be the last time I see him again. I disentangled my limbs from his and walked to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and cleaned myself. I picked up all my clothes that were thrown around everywhere. After I got dressed I picked up my phone and told my lover to come and get me. After I hung up with him I circled around the bed to look at Sean's sleeping face for the last time.

"Thank you Sean for last night. I know I'm an asshole for doing this to you, but I needed this. Call me selfish, call me anything you want. I deserve that much at least." I life my hand and brushed his cheek and leaned down to kiss his lips for the final time. Goodbye Sean. I wish you every happiness."

I got the text that he was downstairs and I smiled knowing that even deep inside I loved him so much that it hurt. But it wasn't that bad anymore and that I made the right decision in leaving Sean. He's in the past now and I have a brighter future with guy. I looked back on last time at Sean's sleeping form and walked out and down the stairs.

Sean soon awake a few minutes later and yawned loudly turning and searching for Nick in sleep fogged mind. He became awake and alert after he couldn’t find a warm body next to him. He shot up from the bed.

"Nick! Nick where are you?!" Sean yelled out frantically. He noticed that Nicks clothes were gone. "NO NICK!" He  pulled on a pair of pants and rushed down the stairs of the apartment building outside. Panting really hard. He looked around like a wild animal on the lookout from its predator. He turn around and saw Nick standing there on the sidewalk and smiled.

"Nick-"But he stopped short when saw the guy standing next to Nick. The man was wiping away his tears and kissed Nick on the lips. He saw Nick smile and wrap the other guy in a hug. He watched as they parted and held hands walking away smiling. Sean's heart broke into pieces. He watched them walk away laughing and tears formed in eyes. They fell down one by one as the clouds above him began to darken. He could smell the moisture and soon it began to pour down hard. He stood there watching them walk farther and farther away until they were out of his site for good.  This was it. Sean thought. This is the end? Why? Nick why? Sean slammed his hand on the ground hunched over and cried so hard. Why?

The rain didn't let up and the rest of the world moved on in time. As it always will……I'm so sorry……

\------

There are instances on our lives where our whole world is flipped upside. Whether it's because we met someone whose changed our life drastically or events where a loved one passes away and we lose those people and things that are precious to us. Times where we have no control over situations and we ask the sky, the world, god, and the universe why? Over and over again lost completely and we just don't understand why these things happen to us. But you have to remember that time moves forward and someday we will too. They say time heals all wounds….however there are wounds that no matter how much time passes they can never be healed.  All we can do is try and move on. Get past the pain and sorrow to find that bright sunshine and happiness…only for the process to repeat over and over again. Funny isn't it? Just know this…you'll make it…I know this because I've been there many times just like everyone else. Be strong…..

 


End file.
